“My Nigga Made Love During A Train SMFH”
So I’m at my homie Frizz crib playing 2K with the fellas … I’m busting ass with Miami as usual … LeBron is really a X-Men in that game … I won 96-81 over the Knicks … My boy Frizz made a public service announcement better than Hov’s … He told us that we all might be getting sucked Canada dry tonight … He had a chick coming over that love Jumanji wild nights … We’ve ran trains on chicks I the past … Some chicks really love the challenge of getting 4 or 5 guys off in one night … Frizz showed us her Instagram on his IPAD … She was a calm 6 in the face and 9 in the body … So that makes her a very fuckable 7.5 … She arrives about a hour later looking extremely familiar … It felt like I met her before somewhere … She had on some leggings and Uggs … Her Uggs looked like it been through more brutal wars than Rocky Balboa … They looked severely beat up and battered … The leggings had her cake looking crazy … It wasn’t looking Tahiry crazy but still definitely crazy indeed … She also had a nice looking slut Indian weave … She immediately wanted to smoke and drink on arrival … Typical free loading bitch … My niggas sparked her up and I poured her a red cup of Henny … She guzzled the cup of Henny like it was lemonade on a summer day …
Typical trife life N story… until it took a turn down a back alley. I did NOT see that shit coming. LOL!
this is going to be the best fucking show ever
“i would describe myself as outgoing and angry.”
Oh. My. God. Where do I even begin? I has tears.
Crotch for dessert
So no one’s gonna say anything about that woman’s blouse in the back holding on for dear life? We’re ignoring that? Okay…
This whole picture reeks of failure.
Bruh.
Not the waffle house!
BREAKFAST AT DA WAFFLE HOUSE!!
Never Again
I don’t do “blind dates.”
I’m not sure why I remember this story as it’s been some years since it happened but here we go…
Some day back in yesteryear, I was fresh out of my first relationship with a girl and back at home. I’d managed to find a job, start school, and purchase my very first car. At 21 I really thought I was hot shit. I mean, I could drink legally too? Hmph! Hot shit.
Anyway, so I met this girl. Syncere or Syn or as I like to call her, lil meat. We’d been talking online and decided we’d meet up at the beach and hangout. Cool. So I get all cute, hop in my lil Kia, and book it towards the beach.
As I am waiting to turn into the beach, I turn to my right and see a meaty leg and busted sneaker hanging out of an equally busted car. I said to myself, “That’s going to be her Tee. Just make this U-Turn and go home. JUST GO HOME!” Simultaneously I prayed my inner voice was wrong.
She wasn’t. I pull up next to this car. This…..is really what I see literally peering at me:
”Hey, she says.”
I almost screamed. I literally almost screamed in the girl’s face. She didn’t look a damn thing like those carefully selected photos she posted online. Now if there is one thing folks should know about me, I do not have the wits about me to get myself out of sticky situations. I end up sitting on this beach praying for divine intervention while this girl calls me “Bae” and other fuck shit that I’m not listening to. It starts to get dark and you all know darkness brings out the lust in folks. I was having NONE OF IT! Finally when I decide I’ve had enough, guess what happens?
Her car won’t start. I take her to her brother’s and she invites me in. I am hungry and thirsty. Didn’t even have a piece of bread or nary a libation out there on that beach. Nothing. On the wall of her brother’s house is a photo of him and his husband. This big ass picture. I don’t know, but it looked very ominous. And of course….it was.
Her brother comes home and starts screaming “Taqunesha! (who?) Didn’t I say you couldn’t have company?! DIDN’T I SAY YOU COULDN’T HAVE COMPANY TAQUNESHA?!”
She takes my hand and literally runs out the door. She hops in my car. I am just so……incredibly in awe that I am apart of this disaster. I take her to her cousin’s and peel off. I couldn’t get across the bridge fast enough. Halfway home she calls me and says:
“Babe, I don’t want to have to tell you this but…….I think I may have had an accident in your car.”
I slowly turn my head to the passenger seat and there…..there on my seat is a dark spot. Before I knew it, I’d started screaming. Just screaming at the top of my lungs. Guttural screams. I was so completely disgusted.
Period……period blood was on my seat.
And this is why I don’t do “blind dates.”
I hollered.
When will y’all learn…
What in the entire fucks of the universe is happening right now????
clit stimulation by the way of gyrating wheel..that’s just a wild guess though..
niggas getting adventurous with this shits these days..tryna find new horizons and shit..
New horizons?
I kinda feel like Mufasa when he was talking to Simba. “You must never go there” lol
goddamn West Indians…
The. Bolded.
I really didn’t understand why lol
This is a sign that my ass needs to be in bed. I simply can’t tonight. lol Good damn night, Tumblr.
how da fuck do we ‘posed to keep peace?
Hurricane Chris Performs “Halle Berry” Song At The Louisiana House of Representatives In A Suit!
Seriously doe.. I’m REALLY dead this time. All jokes aside *_* lol
This was one of the top 10 worst moments in black history. I laughed and cried the first time I saw this shit.
….FOR WHY THOUGH!? Listen, ratchet tendencies in a government setting just…never work out well for any parties involved.
I’m crying …. please nooooo
I’m dead. bye
fdabjklf
MY NIGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAA LMFAO OHMYGLOB I CANT!
reblogging this again because it’s fucking GOLD.
Lol wow
Classic moment in negro history
the greatest ratchet song ever made
This has to be the grandfather of ratchet.
My new fucking jams!
where the hell is the youtube video i need it right now
This is my new theme song
but this is catchy as shit!
I can’t believe I just watched that whole video.
This is some Southside Atlanta junk. Lmao
Oh fa sho! I’mma tell them to play this at the club hahaha
I wanna newspaper dress now.
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dick Her Down Woot Woot.!
Lmaoooo :(
THE BABY!!!!
MLK Wept.
I’m strangely fascinated by this song… I must go re-think my entire existence…
But………… the baby…. and the condom wrapper…. and the newspaper dress…. and the dirty socks….
Never Forget
