THIS. ABSOLUTELY. GPOY.
Let Lee Cook: Anthony Hamilton Makes Manumission Music
I dig Anthony Hamiton yo
The modern-day Bill Withers, Hamilton’s voice will change an entire atmosphere like a Eddie Long praise and worship service.
Wait.
But seriously, when God has a point to get across to his people, he uses Anthony Hamilton’s vocals off of “The Point Of It All’ b.
With his struggle half-beard, uncanny lyrics, and undeniable soul, Anthony Hamilton is slander-proof in my book.
BUT
Let’s remember Anthony Hamilton’s contributions to society real quick
Anthony Hamilton will have you doing testimony service in the cubicle
Anthony Hamilton will have you thinking of Big Mama and the way she used to give you peppermints in church
Anthony Hamilton embodies the struggle, plight, and strife of Black Struggle. He was providing background vocals at Abe Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and shit
When the Dred Scott decision was made, Anthony Hamilton’s “Coming Where I’m From” was manifested in its glory
Anthony Hamilton made most of his earnings during the Great Depression. He was the only singer who got consistent work b
Anthony Hamilton’s vocals were used when Ida B Wells was campaigning against lynching
Anthony Hamilton was the slave who simply sang while all the other slaves did work. And the slaves didn’t get mad or nuffin. House slaves would want to work in the field just to hear his voice
They played Anthony Hamilton’s voice to prevent the KKK from spreading to the North and the West man.
Anthony Hamilton will have you picking your own cotton of your t-shirts and Jordans yo
When Anthony Hamilton sings, your ancestors rejoice by playing spades in heaven yo
When Anthony Hamilton sings, Fantasia can read a full paragraph without pausing and shit
When Anthony Hamilton sings, angels take tequila shots in amazement man
And DON’T get me started on the wimminz ladies.
Anthony Hamilton will have your drawls drop and repenting with a mere stanza of “Lucille” and shit man
Anthony Hamilton will have Jazmine Sullivan changing tires on a car she busted the windows on and shit
Long story short, Anthony Hamilton makes Manumission Music.
Next blog: Beyonce Makes “Music She Can’t Relate To” Music.
Let Me COOK
OUT
"
Why the fuck do you have me fill out a 30-page online psychological profile just so I can come to your store and pack your shelves? It’s fucking moronic. The only people that end up working for you are spineless, desperate idiots who fill in long forms. You’re excluding the smart, mindful people who realise that your ridiculously long forms for retard labour jobs are completely unnecessary.
All you need to know about me is the following:
Can I do the work?
Will I do the work?
Can I be there on time?
Base this on my work history, my education, what else I do in my life and the words coming out of my mouth.
Don’t give me 30-page profiling forms with bullshit like the following:
*When you’re upset, it’s hard to get much done
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-WHAT? YEAH MY CHILDREN WERE JUST BURNED TO DEATH BUT SURE I’LL KEEP A-SMILIN’ AND PACKING YOUR SHELVES.
*You chat with people you don’t know
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-SURE, I CHAT TO EVERYONE! EEESPECIALLY IF I DON’T KNOW THEM! THEN I WALK INTO THEIR HOUSES AND TAKE SHITS!
*You like to take risks
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-IF I BUNGIE JUMP, DOES THAT MAKE ME UNSUITABLE FOR PACKING YOUR SHELVES?
*You like to be alone
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-IS THAT A FUCKING CRIME???
*You can usually tell when something bad is about to happen
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-OH I’M SORRY, YOU’RE ONLY HIRING PSYCHICS AND SPIDERMAN.
*You give direct criticism when you need to
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-NO OF COURSE NOT. IF SOMEONE’S STABBING A BABY I WOULD NEVER THINK TO SAY ANYTHING.
*It is hard to feel optimistic all of the time
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-PROZAC.
*You get angry more often than nervous
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-WTF DOES THIS MEEEEANNN?? ARE YOU PREFERABLE TO NERVOUS PEOPLE???? FUCKING RIGHT I GET ANGRY MORE THAN I GET NERVOUS.
*You can wait patiently for a long time
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-IT’S A SHELF STACKING JOB!!!!!!! I’M NOT SITTING IN A TENT IN THE ARCTIC!!!
*When you are annoyed with something, you say so
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-NOPE. TAIL FIRMLY BETWEEN MY LEGS.
*It matters a lot what other people think of you
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
*You like to be in the middle of a big crowd
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
*You are unsure of what to say when you meet someone
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
*You like to stir up excitement when you are bored
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
—NO! I SIT AND STARE AT MY COCK. WTF STUPID FUCKING QUESTION!!
*You stay home from work or school when you feel a little sick
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
—NOPE. I WALK ON IN THERE WITH SNIFFLES AND I INFECT AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. I ONLY STAY OFF WORK IF I HAVE VISIBLE PUSTULES ON MY FACE AND THE STENCH OF DEATH.
*At times, it is hard to keep your mind on what you are doing
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-I ADMIT IT, IT IS HARD TO DO THOSE TRIPLE INTEGRALS WHILE I’M BEING BLOWN.
*You swear when you argue
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
- DO I FUCK.
*You finish your work no matter what
Strongly Disagree, Disagree, Agree, or Strongly Agree
-BOMB JUST WENT OFF IN STORE. EVERYONE DEAD. DEAD COME BACK TO LIFE, EATING THE FLESH OF THE SURVIVORS. BUT I’M STILL PACKING THOSE SHELVES! DERP!
So far I’ve answered about 1,000,000 of these questions. The pages aren’t numbered so who knows. I might be doing this for the next 4938 hours. Fuck you, all employers.
"—
(via 1066)
Oh em gee, THIS!!! I was just saying this yesterday.
Clearly. Who knew there’d be so many people trolling?
However “accepting” a place tumblr is supposed to be…it is filled with some of the world’s most judgmental fucks.
Son… son!
"
Beyonce’s stans are a vast, numerous and dedicated group of people who are ready at ANY moment to snatch wigs and scalps BALD at the thought of people even THINKING about coming at her. They are at attention biding their time until someone comes at Sasha Fierce sideways, or utters a critique.
I recognize and acknowledge Bey’s greatness, but I do think she’s mere mortal. So I am not a stan.
"— Thank you LuvvieG for describing my thoughts exactly.
This irks me to no end.
